lokita

waiting for that day

lokita — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 15:01:00 +0000

it's creepy. i felt a little affected. i saw a new picture of joe today, and this girl had her arms around him. it irked me. one i only had 1 picture with him during the course of our relationship...and two, i looked at the girl...ad felt that maybe i was just some cheap filler...a meantime girl, ones that change with after every few months...ones whose pictures you throw away. i'm already so sick of feeling sad, feeling anything for him, even thinking about him. i read this article th other day, it says, we have complete control of our thoughts and emotional memories. in this case you can simply change your current thoughts by focusing on a new question, something not related to the bad memore. i better do that now. i'm just waiting for the day though, when i'll just not be affected at all. not feel anything. as if he was a complete stranger to me. i'm just waiting for that day.

safe

lokita — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 17:02:00 +0000

i haven't blogged in a while. i guess i've been so caught up trying to fix the dailies, right now i've got some time to burn. so i guess i have to admit to myself that i have taken the easy way out of things...or sometimes maybe i went with the flow too much.

my new life

lokita — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:22:00 +0000

i decided to take the dive and get together with mik, a month passed, we broke up and got back together and so far, things are good. right now, my life is all about my future...so i quit my job to find greater opportunities, ad looks like things are opening up.

when he loves me more

lokita — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 18:42:00 +0000

maybe i'm not in-love. i thought that it was only fear that was holding me back from giving myself to mik completely. it's not. that's what relationships are...not perfect. although there are times when we find people who seem to make the relationship perfect, in the long run, everyone is just human.

my life's new chapter

lokita — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 15:10:00 +0000

endings and openings. that's what life is all about for me now. i think joe's made his last attempt at contacting me, and i realized how lucky i am to have mik in my life.

truth is like shit...

lokita — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:17:00 +0000

truth is like shit. even if you hide it, it'll stink. someone will eventually discover it. it gets uglier over time when people don't find it to clean it up. it sucks, it stinks and best of all when it's bad, no one wants to go near it.

in two days, it would be joe and i's 1 year meeting. and how timely for shit to come out. the truth stinks, i just didn't know that it was this kind of shit.

suddenly happy

lokita — Wed, 30 May 2007 19:37:00 +0000

my life is finally on the move. last night, i looked at my pics with mik and felt this warm fuzzy feeling inside...what he's endured...and what he's been doing is finally working. i think i am slowly falling in love!

bad joe memory 2

lokita — Fri, 25 May 2007 12:20:00 +0000

it was christmas day and the whole day joe spet with his family in his home. he kept saying he would visit me, but it was already late afternoon and he didn't. we had a party at dad's which was even fewer blocks away from joe and it was dinner time. i sent him an sms, "do you think you could come by here to see me?" he answered, "nope"

another year gone by

lokita — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:27:00 +0000

wow. my blog has been around for more than a year and when i think about it, i have gone through so much already. i have grown, i have loved, i have gotten hurt, and now i'm back to moving on mode...last year, this time, i was in this weird mode too! Whatta coincidence! Check out last year's post, thank god i'm coping differently this year (whew!). So i guess i'm "maturing", so to speak.

Last year's post: Serial Clubber

Crazy stuff. Crazy thoughts.

bad joe memory 1

lokita — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:00:00 +0000

i am doing this so i start remembering the reasons why i broke up with him and why things couldn't work out.

it was a few days before christmas and joe was already done with work. he told me he would call me when he got home, and it was almost midnight and i haven't heard from him yet.