suddenly happy
Wednesday, May 30, 2007my life is finally on the move. last night, i looked at my pics with mik and felt this warm fuzzy feeling inside…what he's endured…and what he's been doing is finally working. i think i am slowly falling in love!
i don't know what it is really. but i think my new addiction, which is playing this video game is turning things around for me. i realized that i was actually addicted to thinking about joe and wallowing in my sadness…that's why i needed and generated it everyday…now i found a new addiction, in the form of a video game…i wake up in the morning and it's one of the first things i think about. i think about it at work, and i even sneak a game or two during. i know i am being a little unproductive because of it this week, but in the past 2 days that i've been playing it, i haven't felt so good in the past four months.
i also feel happy. so happy about the fact that ii have mik. i was thinking about everything we've been through the past few months…and i am just glad that he didn't go away despite all my trying. i am happy he is supporting me in this game thing, even if i soud like a robot when we talk on the phone. i'm just glad. glad that i am finally moving on.
i think because joe was my first that i will never forget him. but that doesn't mean i have to feel bad everytime i think of him. in fact, when i think of him now, i don't feel so bad anymore..actually sometimes, i don't feel anything anymore. is this phantom progress? i hope not. i want this feeling everyday. i'm happy. i think everythings going to be fine now. 
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